Rolling Hills Custom Jewelry

Study a well-made apple and you can tell that it's like an edible black hole of evil! Most plants need water to survive, but an apple's skin is waterproof. How does it survive without water? With evil! It's difficult to peel, too, which means it must have been designed specifically to force man to evolve to the point where he could invent the apple peeler! And when you do peel it, you get nasty pieces of disgusting peel all over the place, spreading their evil to everything around them! When you eat it, your face gets all sticky with juice, which Satan clearly intends to use as a way to identify his minions! And once you've eaten all the edible parts of it, there's still the most evil part of it left, the core. And you know it's evil because you can't eat it! It's like a metaphor for your empty soul, or something! So watch out, Christians, next time you try to ward me off with bananas, I'm bringing your worst enemy with me!